English 101

Hello everyone, and welcome to English 101. I’ll be posting another installment in the life of the Bear Team soon, but in the meantime, I’d like to talk to you about the English language.  You may not know it, but I’m here not only to entertain, but also to inform. Today’s topic: famous quotations, and their usage in day to day life. In an effort to improve the conversational skills of the average American, I’ve compiled a list of quotations that we can all use to spice things up a little when conversing. Below are the first few words of twenty-three well known quotations. See how many of them you can complete on your own:

 

 

  1. A penny saved…
  2. The grass is always greener…
  3. An elephant never…
  4. If at first you don’t succeed…
  5. What’s good for the goose…
  6. Six on one hand…
  7. When the going gets tough…
  8. Ask not what your country can do for you…
  9. A bird in hand is…
  10. Early to bed, early to rise…
  11. You can lead…
  12. If you can’t stand the heat…
  13. We have nothing to fear…
  14. That’s one small step for man…
  15. If it ain’t broke…
  16. It’s not whether you win or lose…
  17. The early bird…
  18. Show me a heart unfettered by foolish dreams…
  19. What goes up…
  20. Fool me once, shame on you…
  21. Do unto others…
  22. Those who live in glass houses…
  23. Those who don’t learn from the past…

 

How do you think you did? Let’s find out! Listed below are the completed quotations. See how many you got right.

 

  1. A penny saved… is really just the same penny you already had.
  2. The grass is always greener… over the sewer line.
  3. An elephant never… knew anything in the first place.
  4. If at first you don’t suceed…you should probably quit.
  5. What’s good for the goose…is if it isn’t slaughtered, plucked, and roasted.
  6. Six on one hand…Hey! Get that thing away from me!
  7. When the going gets tough…the smart give up.
  8. Ask not what your country can do for you…but what you can do to avoid jail time.
  9. A bird in hand…is better than two in your hair.
  10. Early to bed, early to rise…makes a man want to move to Florida and start eating dinner at three o’clock in the afternoon.
  11. You can lead…a gift horse to water, but never look him in the teeth while making him drink.
  12. If you can’t stand the heat…buy an air conditioner.
  13. We have nothing to fear… but, well, lots of s**t actually!
  14. That’s one small step for man…one giant disaster for the rest of the universe.
  15. If it ain’t broke…what the hell, go ahead and break it.
  16. It’s not whether you win or lose…wait, what am I saying? Of course it is!
  17. The early bird…gets pecked to death by the other birds when they realize he got all the worms.
  18. Show me a heart unfettered by foolish dreams…and I’ll call the police!
  19. What goes up…can probably fly.
  20. Fool me once, shame on you….fool me twice, f**k you!
  21. Do unto others…as they deserve to have done unto them.
  22. Those who live in glass houses…should move out. What the hell are they thinking?
  23. Those who don’t learn from the past…are doomed to repeat eight grade. Again.

 

So how did you do? I was a little surprised by the way some of them ended up too. But don’t let that stop you from working them into your everyday conversations. People will certainly notice. They may even look at you in a whole new way, as they wait for the operator to connect them with the authorities.

Well, that does it for today’s lesson. Join us next time, when we’ll talk about the proper usage of the words “who” and “whom.” Actually, we can cover that right now. It is always “whom.” “Who” is never, ever correct. As always, thanks for reading! Until next time, remember the words of yet another famous quotation from Mr. Abraham Lincoln: “Whatever you are, be a good one…unless of course, you happen to be a serial killer.” See you soon!

 

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